How Pentax and Samsung got to partner on photo lenses [Fun]

I got this nice little funny text from Lithos in the Pentax Forums. Please, notice that it may (or may not) be what really happened.


Here’s how Samsung gets Schneider Kreuznach to make lenses for ’em:

SAMSUNG: “We’re making a play, like every other man and his giant-electronics-corporation dog, for the digital camera market. Unfortunately, we have zero credibility in the camera industry, and, well, that’s where you come in…”

SCHNEIDER KREUZNACH: “NEIN! Ve are a respected European opticz company, with many years of fine tradition und expertise in the field…”

Samsung drops, with a surprisingly loud thud, a briefcase on the conference table. It pops open, revealing row upon row of shiny Euro notes, neatly bundled in 10000-Euro lots.

SK: “…and as such vill not be villing to zell our name for use on some cheap, mass-produced cameras! Our lens are a ground by magic elves, und coated vith ze finest, purest dragon’s urine…”

Samsung reaches into its pocket, and pulls out a handful of diamonds, water clear, each the size of a human testicle, and tumbles them onto the briefcase.

SK: “Our lenses are hand-assembled by virgins! The lens barrels are polished on zeir thighs!”

Samsung whistles, and a team of sunglass-wearing security guards with earpieces screwed into their ears, wielding submachine guns, enter the room. They briefly check the corners, the faces of those at the conference table, then nod and mutter into their lapels. Seconds later, a powered trolley laden with gold bullion enters the room, and is placed at the head of the table.


Samsung pulls a share certificate from his pocket. Laying it next to the briefcase, it reads: “COCA-COLA: 250,000 Shares”.

SK: “I look forward to working vith you, Samsung. Here’s the TIFF file of our logo. Stick it vhere you vant. Guten tag!”

Thanks to lithos for his cooperation. As he wrote me: “Really, I hope the satire puts to rest some of the rumour.